Kathleen



This is kathleen as a baby. I am holding her. Kathleen is the main character of this wiki. She is the life, the Earth, the moon, the sun and the stars of this wiki page. STAN KATHLEEN!!!

All we know about kathleen is that she is a weird one. She insists that her name is kate and if you must call her something other than that then call her katie. but i know better than that and i know that she is truly kathleen.

not much is known about the early days of kathleen. she was a very mysterious person. all we know is that she met the love of her life (nigel) at scabby abby. they have been soulmates since the day they laid eyes on eachother on that fateful day in 1862. kathleen has not grown since birth and is forever between the heights of 2ft 3 inches and 4ft 11 inches (it fluxtuates). as we all know, kathleen has not always had it easy. she struggles with the fact that she shares a birthday with her best friend of all time ellie ferg as she did not want to share the cheesecake on her 32nd birthday way back in 1066. it is known that shortly after this terrible battle in 1066, that kathleen was crowned queen of england. she then had a 10 kilometer mile long list of suitors, including that of owen carrigan. as with any perfect love story, kathleen could not have married nigel straight away, even though they are destined to be. kathleen instead married anne of cleves in 1632 and it is well known that charles II was her side hoe. kathleen later got charles deported to afghanistan and he later married JFK. after the traumatic divorce, kathleen took the kids and then took a long drive to carlisle, where she accidentally drove into a tree after being high on ecstacy. the kids were fine as they are the offspring of a goddess, and kathleen was certainly okay as she is immortal. the tree (named boris) was however critically injured and later taken into intensive care. the tree surgeon garden girl said that he may not live through the night, but he has later gone on to graduate from oxford university and is now married to barbara bush. (who is not a bush). kathleen later went on to date a local fish name owen. he owned a wetherspoons round the corner and there is photographic evidence that kathleen went there every night. this is thought to be her alcoholic phase. whilst she was dating owen, they gave birth to a little boy named nemo. he later swam away and they had to find him. kathleen had a brain aneurysm at age 21 in 2013 but she fully recovered without medical assistance because she is "just built different". (source: the life of kathleen).

later on in life in 1987, kathleen ate owen alive accidentally at the local chicken joint. saddam hussain, along with other celebrities such as sarah jessica parker and leonardo davinci said that her behaviour was cruel yet sweet at the same time. kathleen later went on to spark sarah jessica parker out into next week for chattin shit and not being about that life anymore. it is also known that kathleen eradicated cerebral palsy after extracting bone marrow from worms. ambitious scientist and avid mitosis enthusiast sam davis commented "i aint seen nothing like that before, we can cure cerebral palsy but not prevent microsoft teams from taking up 80% of my CPU. absolutely fuming". sam was later locked in his room for 12 years after his father and namesake robert found out about his despicable actions on his computer. kathleen preferred not to comment.

18 months ago, Kathleen was gunned down on the streets of Rome for insighting a fascist takeover of the city.