Jack Bellew



Jack Bellew (B 19/06/04) is a known war criminal for his involvement in the massacre on roblox high school. Which left 20 people dead and many wounded. Not much is known about Jack Bellew apart from the fact that she has gone off the grid. Many say He was kidnaped in a plot by a cult of cat maids and shipped off to Norway, others believe that he is working for the Communist party of China to remove the dictator katie Reed from power and to liberate the students of Polam Hall work camp. Many people believe he was married to Ellie ferg, however this is not the case because of the 5th episode of the second season of the show Miranda on the BBC. Jack Bellew also has nothing to do with the lore of this place. He is just here.

Origins
Jack was born in 2004 to a rich family in the south of wales. At the age of 2 Jack Began to study the works of Karl marks and became involved in a faction of the Communist party of Great Britain. It is believed that he may have accidentally blow up the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch an attempt to create a hydrogen bomb to use in the Iraq war. After the 2006 welsh incident, the family moved to newton Aycliffe under the name, Brimsby

His family consisted of many aristocrats, including his father being the 6th duke of Swansea, an actual swan. Jack's mother mysteriously disappeared when she spoke in a negative manner about the almighty Kathleen. However Jacks mother did return on Christmases and every other Thursday for 20 minutes.

The basement days
At the age of 5, Jack went on holiday to Portugal where he was kidnapped by the ghost of Anne Frank and Madeline McCann. They hid him in a basement for 12 days and taught him the ways of being a public annoyance. However they were executed by members of the IRA.

In his time in the basement, it is a well-known fact that he was also roommates with a box of Radiohead and car seat headrest Vinyl’s leading to jacks now distinct personality of having a “shitty” music taste and being a gay furry because of his association with car seat headrest. At this time more distinct aspects of jack’s music taste began to emerge. However, these were all forgotten about after jack was released from the basement in June 2013. Questions were raised about his education (because zoom did not yet exist), however after reciting Romeo and Juliet fluently, he could return to the UK.

Drugs
In early 2015, Jack's drug problem began to emerge. He was getting drunk all the time and smoked a lot of cigarettes in dangerous amounts. However he said this was not a problem. His drink of choice was a strong rum and coke and a bottle of red wine. He also claimed to not drink alone, for he had a friend who was a blue towel who was getting high at the same time. This friend is theorised to be a figment of Bellew's imagination and is not thought to be real. The south park character Randy Marsh is loosely based on Jack's personality and his compulsive need to be intoxicated. Many also theorise that  jack is a MILF because of the copious amounts of red wine drank.

Observed
In 2018, Jack had a fist fight with Greta Thunberg which ended with the death of Gretta. Her head is on a spike in a church in Norway. He also received a Nobel Prize for his courageous actions.

His friends commented "Good think he kicked the shit out of her. And good thing too. FOOTBALLS COMING HOME” because this was the summer of 2018. It was not much later that the great and almighty Kathleen heard about the stupendous victory and she became intrigued by the mystery that was, Jack Bellew.

It was not much later that the great and almighty Kathleen heard about the stupendous victory and she became intrigued by Jack Bellew.

Polam Era
In 2018 Jack took up a job as a professional biscuit buyer/ coffee drinker in a strange group of people. it is also round that time that jack became the head of the terrorist organisation known as Bird Prostitution. It is round this time that Jack made his first mistake with a bet.

On the first of July 2018, Jack made a bet to watch every episode of MLP:FIM (my little pony: friendship is magic). Later, the joke Jack is a brony would take off with many names coming from it.

In 2020, Jack became the lord high Quiz master of Polam hall school as well as the famed title, BUSCIT WOMAN. As well as the head of the Combined Cadet force, which he planed to use as an insurgency to overthrow katie Reed. However dew to the COVID-19 pandemic, it was cut short.

Recent history
During this pandemic it is unknown what happened to Jack, sources clamed that he went mad. Others clamed that he was enjoying his time in lockdown. However the pressure of the exams May have lead to a mental collapse and consumed by worry, or he was just bored.

On the 29 April, Jack Gained an addiction to the game, Fortnite dew to the Travis Scott Skin and the ninja skin. On the 29th of May, Jack Made a second bet involving 30 anime. He lost this bet and is still continuing to watch the list. Sources say he has not yet finished the third one.

In 2021 it is rumoured that Jack has created a cult known as the maid cult. Not much is known about this organisation other than that Jack is the "High Priestess"

Jack may have also been involved with the tomato town incident. In this tragedy, 10 people were shot dead in tomato town on the 23 July 2018. Many reports discuss the idea that tomato town was "wiped out" in this incident.

The future
it is clamed that jack is slated to die in Bosnia in the arms of the father and Transend to heaven in a boat where he will join the great maid gods in the sky

First attempts
In 2018 Kathleen began to search for Jack Bellew because of his revolutionary ideas. She began her search for him and became dismayed to learn that he had married her best friend of all time, Ellie Ferg. Although this was proved to be false so that jack could get a green card.

Kathleen was infuriated that she would have to wait to dispose of Bellew, but she had a plan. She first bribed an old friend of hers, Abi Flory to begin a joke that Jack Bellew was a woman. This joke has been a widespread and popular joke that has called into question the gender of Bellew many times. Bellew cannot confirm nor deny these claims.

Word got around, and after some time, everybody believed that Jack was in fact a woman. The following year Ellie Ferg filed for divorce because "that shits gay". However, at the same time jack had also filed for divorce stating that “I got that green card, I’m out”.

Kathleen was ecstatic that her plan had worked, and she began making arrangements to defeat Jack Bellew. However, it was round this time that Jacks Power had gotten much stronger because of the fact he killed god and took his place. She could not have somebody who was stronger than her.

Kidnaping Plot
In 2020, She confided in a close associate of hers, David Simpson and asked him to kidnap Bellew.

Simpson knew it would be a hefty job, but he agreed to do it on the grounds that she had sex with him first. Kathleen refused, but they came to a compromise after she turned Katie Smith straight. Katie smith was then euthanized. David Simpson planned to kidnap Bellew on January 24th, 2020 and lock him up in his basement.

However, David Simpson was shot dead after standing too close to a man with hair for too long. That man may have been future Bellew.

He hired his best friend and most trustworthy confident, Ben Mennell, to finish the job and take down bellew and be a guard to prevent Bellew from escaping. He put up a good fight, but Bellew did prevailed. Bellew escaped with his life intact. However, he had lost a part of his soul.

After one month, Ben had finally managed to contact Kathleen and informed her of the Disappointing news. However, He believed that Jack was dead Kathleen rushed over to the basement as quickly as she could and her face light up when she saw the small creature that had she believed was of Bellew.

"Jack Bellew. Once you were a brilliant warrior, you fought in the battle of Hastings and. You single handily killed Genghis Khan. But look what has become of you. Nothing. Skin and bone."

The creature believed to be Jack grunted and begged Kathleen to take some mercy on him, but as we all know, Kathleen does not offer mercy. In that moment, Ellie Ferg broke into the room and Jack though he was saved. Ellie picked him up, and then threw him at the wall, smashing his head into thousands of tiny pieces. Kathleen was livid that she did not get to kill Bellew herself but was happy that her friend finally got the justice she deserved. "That wasn't Jack.?" Ellie asked.” Well, there was a complication” ben said. He explained that jack had not been kidnaped and had killed David and almost ben. “My robocock was no match for his weeb gun”.

"It was quite obviously a puppet. The real Jack Bellew is still out there. “Kathleen and Ellie stated the creature on the floor turned out to be David and Katie Smith, who had not died but had faked their deaths do have hardcore sex in bens basement.

Kathleen was furious and telekinetically picked up and Ben. She threw them over the Atlantic Ocean, and they were never seen again. The location of the real Jack Bellew is unknown. To this day, Kathleen is still searching for him.

Jack Bellew has since been reported as the leader of a cult of catmaids in Norway. She is still on the run and has not been found.

Music taste
Jack is very proud of his music taste. Its shit. Jack mainly listens to Radiohead, Car seat headrest, black Midi, shame and black country, new road (one band).