Sam Davis

Pre-Birth
Sam's parents only had a child for two reasons. First, Rob demanded that he and his wife Carol conceived a child in order to carry on the Davis lineage. Secondly, Carol wanted a child because she thought that it might save her marriage with Rob and that she wouldn't have to divorce him and get a real job after all. After 10 years of marriage, the couple had sex for the first and only time. Sam was conceived on the first try as Rob's seed is very strong. In order to ensure that the child was an eligible heir - a male, Rob forced Carol to keep her womb really warm for the first two days after the coitus had been engaged, and then made it really cold for the duration of the pregnancy. Rob had to lock Carol in a room in order to keep her from engaging in her drinking habits. She was also not allowed to go out in the sunlight during that time, in order to ensure that the child would not become a homosexual in the future.

Early Years
A few days after Sam's birth, his father left him to his own accord in order to figure out life. If Sam was not up to the task, then it would prove that he was not a worthy son, and Robert knew that this meant he and Carol would need to produce more offspring, which he wanted to avoid. But due to natural selection, and Rob's significantly better genes, Sam pulled through and solved pi by age 3. Robert was very pleased with this specimen, but would never show his emotion toward his child, as emotion could possibly interfere with the development. Carol would sometimes be trusted to look after Sam on her own, when Robert was forced to return to work at Microsoft. She would take him on bus journeys on the number 3A to Harrowgate Hill, and Sam later reflected on these times and said that he felt that buses were just transport for lazy people and that productive people would be able to drive and afford their own car. He also recalls a time he had an encounter with an old woman at the bus stop who stroked his back. This could explain his disgust for physical contact and intimacy with other humans.

Education
At age 4, Sam was enrolled at Whinfield Primary School. Robert disapproved of the school generally, but appreciated that it was the best school in the area. Sam learned many important life skills there, such as digging holes, as he was taught by his good friend and close confident, Keiran Geldard. The primary school was also where Sam discovered the love of his life - his trombone. This unlocked a whole new world of possibilities for Sam, and for the first time, he felt human. Robert was disgusted with his child's choice of passion, as he had hoped for him to become a world class physicist. Robert was just glad that Sam had picked a suitable instrument, as a violin would've been unacceptable, as jazz was the only genre of music that was allowed in the Davis household. Little else is known about Sam's primary school years, as Robert destroyed most of the records in order to hide the evidence that his son is in fact a science experiment. Sam does retain a few parts of his childhood however, such as a class photo from his first year, and also his year 6 leavers shirt. Another detail about Sam's early years is that he went through puberty at the age of 9 in year 5. In 2016, Sam began his education at Longfield Academy, where he would later befriend Ellie Ferg's arch nemesis, Oliver Buckley. Not a lot is known about Sam in the early years of his time at Longfield, but what we have been told from the anonymous source of Marcus Gehrmann: there are many stories. Such as how he claimed to have a hadron collider in his basement, but this was disproven as Sam does not own a basement. He also claimed that his father owned Microsoft, but this was also disproved as we know that his father is named Robert, not Bill. It is also known that Sam has struggled with his genetics as they have created a mutation in his body which leads to mass amounts of testosterone being produced in his body. This has contributed to Sam's unshakeable horniness, and has led to him coming up with new ways to enhance his pleasure.

Addiction Issues
Sam has struggled addiction since he was 9 years old, when he discovered a source of getting high. This addiction has lead to Sam killing approximately 766,500,000,000 people. The addiction also led to him seeking new ways to get stronger highs from his natural drug source. What we know is that he has tried sounding, homemade fleshlights, ribbed condoms for personal use, and he has also discovered ways to get his high without using his hands. He eventually discovered a way after many years, which involves him tensing his thighs. His parents are mainly unaware of his addiction, but his mother has caught him in the act a few times. Sam also opened a discord server with his close friend Keiran Geldard. The server gave users access to large amounts of inappropriate content, and has scarred the eyes of many.

Being a Simp
Sam Davies chose to be single for many years after the marsh massacre, it was completely his choice to remain single and completely in his control. After being rejected by the great love of his life, Lucy Clennell, he decided to ask out another woman who aspired to be a surfer. After that rejection, Sam Davies concluded that his excellence can only be achieved without a silly woman by his side and thus chose to be single. Completely by his own free will. Completely his own choice. Years after this grand decision had been made, a small emo with a potato shaped head approached the great Sam Davies. At first he scoffed at her mere existence as he was already infatuated with another curly haired woman who was 2 years younger than him. Sam also despised emos and this woman was the biggest one of all. For many years he had bullied specifically this woman and all of her friends: dubbing them the "suicide squad". The woman was famously friends with big up gazza and also famously expressed her desire to eat babies fresh from the womb. Many times Sam Davies had bullied her behind her back for saying such outrageous comments. As sam's relationship with the curly haired 14 year old declined, he realised his chances of gaining a life partner was slim. Although he was still in love with the child, Sam Davies agreed to go on a date with the potato headed emo. It took Sam many weeks to assess whether affiliating with this emo would be worth it. But eventually he realised that she was a woman with lips who wanted to kiss him. His instincts to reproduce took over and he decided to begin the path of courting this woman. He had reached his peak of desperation, some even said this choice was even more desperate than dating the great Ellie Ferg, or asking out 3 random girls in one day. He insisted to his friends that him and the emo were ONLY friends, presumably out of sheer embarrassment. As the weeks went by and his friends made more jokes, Sam Davies was more and more adamant that him and the emo were JUST FRIENDS. He realised that eventually he would have to introduce her to his friends as his life partner, so he begun by slowly complimenting the creature to his friends. He claimed to his dear friend Ellie Ferg that they had a lot in common, like:

- Both human

- Both breathe

He also claimed they were very similar people, for example:

He also said that she has changed and moved on from her baby-eating days, with the following evidence:

And with saying this, Sam Davies hoped that his friends would finally approve of his chosen mate.

Of course it didn't work. Sam Davies's friends did not want this strange little emo in their harmonious group, but they figured given her past dating history, that the pairing would not last long and peace would be restored quickly. Oh how they were wrong. The emo began okay, being nice to all members. But she began to decline. In the groupchat, she frequently sent messages about killing herself and drinking bleach, and this later built up into something worse. Sam Davies had forbidden Ellie Ferg to talk about Jesus the Autistic Possum (AKA Marcus Gayman), as he dubbed him "an arse of a person". Ellie Ferg respected Sam's wishes as he was the great Sam Davies. It is believed that just one week after their pairing, that Sam Davies and the potato emo shagged in Scunny Woods, as Sam had sworn to never shag in the marsh again. A few weeks later, the great Sam Davies began to be negatively influenced by the potato goth, as she coerced him into doing the most unholy acting of "vaping". Sam's close friends began to realise that the old Sam Davies would be ashamed of the current Sam Davies's actions. They wanted the potato goth to go. The potato goth and Sam Davies began necking on whilst vaping, and their move became commonly known as the "vape kiss". It was utterly disgusting and anybody who witnessed the said vape kiss was repulsed and would vomit repeatedly. Later, the potato emo realised that nobody liked her and that she needed to get rid of the competition. Considering Ellie Ferg was a female, potato emo saw her as a large competitor. Thus making a biased poll on her story attempting to kick out Ellie Ferg from her own group. This was Sam's biggest demonstration of being a simp. He chose his potato emo girlfriend over his friendships simply because the potato emo kisses him and shags him in scunny woods. Ellie Ferg was subsequently kicked from the group due to the potato emo being a scruffy goth and Sam Davies being a simp.

Sam Davies' condition only declined from this point on. He began listening more and more to his woman and became so dedicated to her that they actually became one. This creature was then known as "samandjana". They were never seen apart and most people figured that this was due to their very strong genuine love, a term coined by somebody who is very kind and loyal. Sam began to receive criticism for his simping tendencies and it is believed that he cried due to a week long separation from his epic true love. After Sam received such criticism, he began to make threats to those who dared oppose him, claiming that he "WILL report you to QE". The opposition simply laughed at Sam's feeble attempts to be scary.