Ellie Ferg

Early Life
Ellie Ferg was born at the dawn of time in 2005 at the exact same time as Kathleen (except ellie ferg is older by a few hours). She was not born but in fact evolved from a rare type of blue whale and did not have any parents, much like an orphan. She was discovered by a pack of ants and they took her in as their own, teaching her the way of the ant. This is thought to be the source of her superhuman strength. Ellie later travelled the world with her six legs and her pack of ants, along with her best buds Frank and Todd. As they reached Tokyo, they saw a little baby that was shooting laser beams from its fingers and killing all of the pokemon. Ellie was mesmerised by the little infant so much that she had to courage to go up to her and talk. The baby said that her name was Kate, and if you must call her anything but that then call her Katie. Ellie shook her head solemnly and knew that this baby's name must be Kathleen. The chosen one. Ellie offered her hand in friendship and ordered for the executions of her best buds Frank and Todd. Since that day, Ellie and Kathleen have been best friends and partners in crime.

After a couple of years into their friendship, Ellie and Kathleen began to part ways. They would still remain best friends of all time, and would summon each other when needed. Ellie began her own spiritual search when she moved to Darlington in 2010 and she was intrigued by the way of the chavs. At the age of 14, she watched Twilight for the first time and she became so obsessed about it that she thought really hard (a rare occurrence) and then suddenly became a vampire. She has exceptional control of her thirst, and only feeds on the blood of animals (except rabbits) and feasts on the blood of her enemies. After wandering the streets of Darlington for a couple of years, Ellie realised that she had ran out of drug money and she couldn't be bothered to get an actual job. Therefore she moved in with Myles to leech off of his short amount of money, pretending to be his friend in exchange. Their short-lived partnership also resulted in the conception and birth of John Winker Foster from Gloucester Fergo, a half god and half alien from the ancient inhabitants of Atlantis that outdate Adam and Eve. (because he has rhesus AB negative blood). Ellie never saw her drug addiction as an issue until she met Olivermillichaphyphenbell, a famed druggie in the local area. She described the experience as "looking in like a mirror, but like i was proper massive". Olivermillichaphyphenbell preferred not to comment. Ellie attempted to cold turkey off the drugs, but due to her lack of motivation to do anything and lack of willpower, she gave in after 33 long and hard minutes. In 2019, Ellie met a young chap by the name of Samuel Robert Davies, a renowned astrophysicistelectromagneticmitosisoligist. The two had absolutely not attraction or feelings towards one another, but decided to procreate anyways due to both parties being unbelievable amounts of desperate. After the horrific events of the Marsh took place, an autistic detective decided to investigate. Joined by his small homosexual companion and his rather large vegetarian buddy, they found the remains of what is known as the marsh massacre. Ellie has always denied the allegations, but Sam admitted everything and was sent to durham juvie for 9 years. Nobody has heard from Sam since.

12 years later, Ellie was walking through north park where she spotted a young girl with alopecia getting strangled by a fat tub of lard. Ellie intervened immediately and then the girl shouted at Ellie for acting against her pascifist beliefs.

Ferg is also associated with creating Greenwich Meantime and funding research for Pigs with Aids, but has declined these statements upon several occasions.

Little is known about Ellie’s son, John Winker Foster From Gloucester Fergo (born October 1st) fathered by Myles, as they all went underground after the fall of the Berlin Wall.

After 9/11 happened, Ellie realised that she was unsafe. People would find out about her true intentions, so she had to have a plan. She had a meeting with then Prime Minister, Tony Blair, and informed him that there needs to be a war. This war would surely bring the attention away from Ellie and focus it on one of Ellie's worst enemies, Hacker T. Dog. Ellie saw this as killing two birds with one stone and after the great war in Afghanistan, Hacker T. Dog was killed in 2011. A triumphant day for both Ellie and Kathleen. After the split from Ellie and the transgender asexual lesbian, Ellie decided that the only logical next step was to shag a purple alien. The purple alien wished that Ellie would stay longer and play xbox, but Ellie swiftly left and never saw him again. In a desperate attempt to decimate Ellie's image, the purple alien told all of his pikey-nosed buds about shagging the second greatest woman in existence. Thankfully, nobody believed him and he was exiled from society.

THE RAT
At somepoint in Ellie's existence, she stumbled upon a RAT. this RAT was ginger and usually ellie would mock and kill the creature instantly due to the nature of its hair colour, but ellie showed mercy towards THE RAT. THE RAT would speak with ellie frequently, and insisted that he was a gerbil, but ellie knew he was a RAT. ellie began to speak back to THE RAT and they slowly became somewhat of friends. THE RAT was good company to ellie, she would frequently inform him of her recent battles with other immortals, and would also tell him stories about the almighty kathleen. ellie learned that THE RAT wanted to also become worthy of immortal powers, as he had an arch nemesis and he wished to defeat her. ellie had a very difficult decision to make. giving somebody this much power was not a decision to be taken lightly, and it would go down in history as there had never been a ginger immortal being before. ellie confided in her good friend jesus the autistic possum, and he told her from his experiences with THE RAT that she should not do it, as he is a RAT and he grassed jesus the autistic possum and friends up to the electromagneticmitosisologist sam davies. ellie still needed more information, so she requested a meeting with THE RAT in person. THE RAT seemed okay for the first part of the day, and they discussed very pressing matters such as the drama happening in the mortal world and the disgusting purple alien. ellie began to see why THE RAT wanted to become immortal, he was very weak. he was physically incapable of consuming food as he was allergic to it all, and he also was severely allergic to oxygen. ellie felt pitiful about THE RAT and considered making him an immortal. THE RAT, however decided, like a true RAT would, that he was better than the almighty ellie and that he didnt need no immortality, as he was too busy trying to shag every lass in darlo. ellie was shocked that she had been foolish enough to even consider this fiend as a valid contender for immortality, and she was disgusted with herself. she vowed to never speak to THE RAT or any other ginger ever again.

Jesus The Autistic Possum
some time before meeting sam davies for the first time, ellie came across an individual known only as depression in a box. he was a strange fellow and ellie was rather confused about who exactly he was. at some point, ellie was introduced into a cult, and depression in a box was their leader. it turns out that sam davies had previously been in this cult, but left because he believed himself to be better than depression in a box and even went as far to call him "scum of the estate". this saddened depression in a box greatly, and it is believed that because of these comments, it led depression in a box to change drastically. months had passed, and ellie had not heard from depression in a box for a very long time. she was too busy wrapped up in the drama of sam davies and the marsh massacre to put too much thought into it. after her difficult decision to leave the great sam davies, ellie contacted depression in a box again, only to learn that he had changed his name, and had renamed his cult to "christianity". depression in a box was then to only be known as jesus the autistic connman. ellie decided to tell jesus about the gruesome details of the marsh massacre, and also many other disturbing details of her short term relationship with the heir to the microsoft throne. jesus considered all of this newfound information carefully, and made the decision to spread the word to the rest of his cult. august 17th was made as the official marsh massacre memorial day, and he also led an investigation into the exact happenings of that fateful day. the investigation was led by jesus and his disciples, and they found large amounts of evidence that proved sam davies' guilt. for a brief amount of time, jesus became known as detective jesus the autistic connman. one day at school, jesus was pondering his thoughts on sam davies, as he usually would, until the idea came to his head for him to spread the word on sam davies awareness. he decided to tell ricky the rapist about sam and the marsh massacre, and from there the news spread like wildfire. the marsh massacre became known as a global phenomenon, and it has been rumoured that dwayne the rock johnson will be portraying sam in the upcoming 2022 movie, "that sounds like a bit of a you problem". after the word got back to carol and rob, rob was infuriated that sam had not passed on his genes and that he will not be bearing an heir apparent. he locked away sam davies for 12 months in order to do experiments on him to examine the reasons behind why he had not impregnated this 14 year old girl. in the midst of all this, jesus's tribe was thriving and they became known to say prayers and sing songs dedicated to sam davies, for example "road trip to the south of the uk" was an extremely popular hit at the time. jesus's word only spread further and further, until one day he mysteriously disappeared. nobody knows what happened to jesus in that year, but it is largely thought that his lack of public presence is due to him planning something much bigger. after THE RAT had almost tricked ellie into giving him immortality, jesus reappeared. ellie once again entertained him with the stories of THE RAT, sam davies, the purple alien and the chicken pimp. it was a great time to be alive for jesus and although this time he did not spread the word of these stories, he had something much bigger planned. later in life, jesus had been faced with a predicament. one of his closest followers, jack z, had a sister who is only known as forehead. forehead decided that she wanted a male companion, but jesus was too wise for her tricks. the only person that forehead managed to lure in was a proud british lad with a chode. these two had absolutely no attraction to one another and the only thing they had in common is the fact that they were desperate enough to date eachother. the fact that these two people were dating caused great dismay to jesus for a lot of reasons. first, he believed it to be against the word of god that such a companionship should be allowed, and found this relationship rather disgusting. also, the proud british lad was a nonce and jesus wanted to put a stop to his tricks instantly. jesus pondered many ways that he could end this relationship, and his first thought was time. he believed that there was no way that these two disgusting beings could date for more than 2 weeks, due to their natural incompatibility. for the first time in his entire existence of over a million years, jesus was wrong. the sheer force of the desperation that radiated from these two individuals defied everything that jesus had once known. he decided that it was time to call in the big guns. jesus contacted his associate, ellie ferg, for her abilities to seduce anybody due to her unnatural hotness. ellie ferg of course agreed solemnly to help her good friend. she of course successfully seduced chode and gained enough evidence that chode was not loyal to forehead. she sent the evidence over to jesus and he thanked her for her efforts. ellie was forever haunted by the sight of that disgusting barrel dick. jesus then sent the evidence over to jack z, who then showed the evidence to his mother sarah. naturally, sarah didnt give a shit. she had a talk with forehead and informed her of the bad news. initially, forehead was angry. but then it hit her that if she were to break up with chode, then she would be single with nobody to date once again. so forehead and chode made the decision to move on and that the events that happened the same day were in the past. jesus was astounded by this. they were too strong. their power was growing and would only become stronger and more dangerous. he could not let this go on.

some time after this, jesus finally succeeded. the chode and the forehead were no more. he expected to feel large amounts of euphoria from this feeling, but he could not allow himself to feel happy as it was not truly his achievement. the chode and forehead had only broken up due to the chodes own faults, and jesus felt devastated that he could not take responsibility for the demise of their relationship.